The playground.

Today, we had 15 minutes left before you had to leave for work, and you stopped by the playground, of which holds memories that's always lingering at the back of my mind, but yet seldom spoken of.

The first time at the playground; The very morning before you left for Aussie for training, after you picked me up from work at Attica. At the point in time, I was unsure, unsure of where this relationship is going, unsure of how to break the news that we are dating to a close friend, unsure of how I am gonna get through 3 weeks without you. As you held my hand in yours, I asked, "Why do you look so stressed out?" You said, "I am scared that you're gonna give up on us." And at that moment, I knew, there was no way I am letting you go. This is one memory that I will always hold close to heart.

The second time at the playground; The night you got drunk after drinking with the fellow Attica colleagues. You were at a loss, you had no idea at all how to approach the topic you wanted to confront me about and when you finally did, everything went downhill. You brought up your insecurities about my ex, you talked about how affected you were knowing that we were still hanging out. At that time, I was still this pampered girl, which you possibly had no intentions of changing, that you were so afraid of losing. I asked, "So you're gonna give up on us because of that?" thrice, and you kept your silence. We left things at where they were and headed home after. This is one memory I don't want to remember, but I will, simply because I made a huge mistake, of which I only realised now. You always had insecurities and trust issues, but I never gave much thought to it. I seldom made the extra effort to reassure you, I continued doing what I did and that, caused a strain on our relationship. If you ever see this, I'm sorry, for failing to give you the peace of mind, for having betrayed your trust, for disregarding these issues as part and parcel of a relationship. If we can go back to that night, I'd hug you tightly and promise you, that for as long as we are together, I'll never do anything to destroy what we have.

The third time at the playground; Today. You said it's been awhile since we last went to the playground. We weren't talking about anything serious, until when you had to leave, and then you said. "You're the 3rd girl that I've brought back home for Chinese New Year. You don't know the first, the second was M, and you're the 3rd. There was a year that I was alone, because I was single. But I want to tell you that, I want you to be the girl that they'll be seeing for the subsequent years after, okay?" You have no idea how much that meant to me, and in that moment, I swear, we were infinite.

With love, A