The Girl You Loved Is Gone

Today I walked the streets of town alone, yet not lonely. I smiled when I realized how beautiful life truly is. People brushed past me and rain falling down on me.

In that infinite moment, I recognized liberation.

I felt alive, with the physical touch of every stranger; a timely reminder that life is transient. I felt alive, with every pelt of raindrop; a timely reminder that life is fleeting. Every moment, elapsed, is every moment, gone. I know, I wasn’t over you, I was over the person I thought I was, when I was in love with you.

The girl you loved, she is somewhere in the people you meet, she is somewhere in the buildings you enter, she is somewhere in the streets you pass. She is everywhere. She is undeniably a part of your life now, but yet distinctly absent.

She’s gone.

I have travelled further, than I ever thought I could. I persisted. I survived. The life you imposed on me, I did not like it, but I decided to change it. I transformed my heartache into a worthwhile existence. I altered my feelings into a motivating force. The desecrated mess you left me in, is now substituted with relief and respite, bringing life to the dreams and to the people I relinquished, although with much regret.

I’m sorry, but the girl who held your hand through your darkest moments, who cried with you through your toughest ordeals, who rejoiced with you through your littlest victories, who walked with you through your most insignificant milestones, she ceased to exist in that moment you gave up on her, on us.

Pain was never something I wanted you to feel, but you deserve to know the truth. If you are still searching for answers, understand that one day you will wake up, changed. One day you will be strong enough to walk away, you will be wise enough to search for better, you will be happy enough to be alone, but not lonely.

The fears and the inhibitions are no longer a part of me. I trusted my heart and I went on my way, in my own company. I always will, until the one who loves me for who I am, comes along.  

The girl you loved may be gone, and another that takes her place will be scarred and far from perfect, but I promise, she will believe in love again, like you will.

Love, Al