For my best friend.

V, I know you are reading this. And as agreed, we're each drafting a post on what we'd say if we died tomorrow. Here you go, this is what I'd say if you died tomorrow.

(Of course, I'd start with the whole what are best friends for, what having a best friend means, y'know. People like that crap at funerals, gets them thinking.)

"I know it's called best friend for a reason. But if there is more than one person in the world that you love, you can always have two, or three, or more. I never believed in having just one best friend, but that does not mean that losing one of them hurts any lesser. In fact, it hurts more than anything in the world to lose a confidante, a keeper of my secrets, almost like losing a part of me.

I can't recall when we started being best friends, it just happened. Honestly, when I first met you, I never thought we'd be best friends, but that was before I knew the bitchy side of you. Before I realized it, we were letting each other in on our deepest, darkest secrets, things we'd never tell anyone else, things we'd rather hide from people, things we'd keep to ourselves because we thought no one will understand. Becoming your best friend was almost like falling in love (so gay, I know), not knowing when or how it started, but yet finding myself having one hell of a rollercoaster ride with you.

Sometimes I ask myself, what makes you my best friend, and not anyone else?
We're best friends because we don't talk everyday, but when we do, it's almost like we were still at where we left off. It was that easy to get a conversation going, to pick up at where we stopped. We've lives to lead outside of each other, and we respect that. We text when we don't really have the time, we meet when we have the time.
We're best friends because we put up with each other's nonsense so well, it actually bothers me why I allow myself to. Let's admit it, I wouldn't send that duck face selfie to anyone else and you wouldn't send that face forehead full of pimples to anyone else. But we'd totally send that to each other, without a second thought. Because I know, you will put up with my uncool selfie and you know, I will put up with your acne-filled face, I mean, why not? I get to laugh at you one entire day for that.
We're best friends because we tell each other the truth, without sugar-coating it. But of course, with a little tact. We've always been honest with each other, whether it's about a haircut or a life decision. We give our honest opinions, no judging.
We're best friends because you love me even when I'm almost impossible to love. You know those times when I'm on my period? Or when I'm just going on and on and on about the same damn thing my boyfriend is doing that is pissing me off? Or those times when I hate the world, because, why not?
We're best friends because we've both seen the ugliest sides of each other and didn't mind at all. You, crouched on the ground in the carpark of Helipad, puking your guts out the entire night and waking up looking like shit? And me, bawling my eyes out in my bed, sans make up, with no appetite to eat? We've been there and look, we're still here. Well, not really. I am, and you're gone. But only physically, I promise I won't forget you.

I wish you were still around, who doesn't?

I am so thankful to have you in my life. For all the times I needed someone to stroke my hair, to hear me rant, to watch me cry, to hold my hand, to walk me through, to keep me sane. You were always there, whether you were a bloody 3821 miles away in Brisbane, or a mere 16.2km away in Tampines.

Having you meant keeping in touch via Skype, with you being two hours ahead, compressing three months of our lives into a two hour conversation each time. Having you meant maintaining a level of intimacy I don't share with anyone else, even my boyfriend. Having you meant giving you the liberty of having the occasional jabs at my ego, but yet not getting back at you or hating you for it, because I get to do it to you too. Having you meant bloody long walks from one end of town to another, doing absolutely nothing productive. Having you meant shouting song lyrics at the top of my voice in a bar, half-drunk, but happy. They weren't much, but they were memories I'd keep so close to me, even if it meant waking up at unearthly hours to reply your texts, hearing you tell me about your crazy ex, allowing you to take digs at me, walking till I get blisters and making a fool of myself, because it was with you. What we had with each other, I couldn't have with anyone else.

Perhaps if you weren't so special, losing you wouldn't even hurt half as much. But if I had to choose, I'd choose you (Pokemon style) all over again. I love you, best friend, tough love, but I always have and I always will.

Love, A