An Open Letter To You, The Friend I Lost

This coming April 2015, we'd have been friends for 6 years.

I still remember when we were so close, you were always there for me. You were there during my countless fights with A, during the time I took up a job at Marbleslab, during the time I broke up with A, during my first trip overseas with my friends, during orientation in the first week of school, during the time I thought I fell for G and so many other times when I needed a friend. You were there. Do you remember how we were?

But somewhere along the way, we drifted apart. I became best of friends with V, and you, you became just another friend, almost non-existent.

I finally found time today, to sit down and think through everything that has happened between us. And I realized, we can never be like before, ever. Things were simple, but we chose to complicate it.

Perhaps things started going downhill when you found out that J was constantly texting me and calling me back in the days in TP. My relationship with A then, was pretty much an open relationship. As long as we never crossed the boundaries of emotional or physical cheating, all's good between us. That is exactly the reason why most of my close friends consisted mainly of boys. And we were communicating so much, because of you. He wanted to get through to you, but you shut him out, cut him off. I did what any friend will do, but I made a mistake. I never explained it to you.

Perhaps things started going downhill when you started dating G, after I kinda sorta had a thing going on with him. You have always had low self-esteem and no confidence in yourself. And I added to it.

Perhaps things started going downhill when I started working at Attica, through your recommendation. I'd never have gotten the job without you, and I hope you know, I never meant to replace you on the job. I did what I could, as part of my job, to respect my superiors then. I did my best on the job (occasionally getting pissed drunk which I really shouldn't have) and I don't know, but perhaps to you, I did what I did to replace you. But that was never my intention.

Perhaps things started going downhill when I started dating S, without telling you, despite knowing you had a thing for him. But you were with G then. I never expected myself to be the sort of girl who'd let a guy come between my girlfriends and I, but somehow, I let it happen.

To you, I never meant for any of these to happen, I never meant to hurt you (whether intentionally or unintentionally), I never meant for us to become just another forgotten part of each other's lives, I never meant for our friendship to become the way it has today. I hope you know, that you were once a great friend and even if we never speak again, I wish you well and the best things in life.

Love, Al